Welcome to the Jungle

Leaving the concrete jungle for a real one was a welcome relief. Still, it wasn´t all fun and games. Navigating the Amazon with a dying flashlight-- adventure, or just plain scary? Find out in this mock interview.

Interviewer: You went to the Cuyabeno Reserve in the Ecuadorian jungle, is that right? It´s supposed to be one of the most important protected areas on the planet, with a massive amount of biodiversity. How was it?

Me: Well, the guide quit after the first hour. But I suppose the jungle itself was pretty impressive.

Interviewer: I´m sorry-- you say the guide quit after an hour?

Me: Yeah, we drove three hours in a pickup truck with to meet the guide, he served us lunch and then left, promising to return within the hour. Three hours later he showed up and told us that the agency had not paid him, nor had they paid the local indigenous community for more than 3 months. He was going to leave us in the hands of a local so that he could file an official complaint and deliver a copy to his lawyer.

I: That´s... unfortunate. Did it affect your tour?

Me: Well the agency also hadn´t provided food, drinking water or sufficient gasoline either. So yeah it was a problem. We didn´t starve, but when another group showed up the last day we were able to see the food and service that should have been provided orginally. And we couldn´t go fishing for piranhas because there was only enough gas to get back out of the jungle, and none for side expeditions.

I: Did anything go right?

Me: Well, we left very late the first day-- from the park entrance it´s a three hour motorized canoe ride to the pueblo we were staying-- and so we ended up navigating the river in the dark, which is kind of creepy. But at dusk we were escorted by a swarm of bats, swooping and diving alongside the boat; although I´m not a fan of bats swarming towards me, it was amazing to be ¨flying¨ alongside them. You gain a real appreciation for their elegance.

I: What else did you see?

Me: Lots of insects-- dragonflies, stinging grasshoppers, the biggest cockroaches I´ve ever seen. Mosquitos of course. And a tarantula that was nesting in the bathroom. Lots of birds too, and frogs and lizards. Actually, before we even entered the park we were flagged down and given a turtle to release into the wild. He slept on my feet for a while and then tried to eat my pants. But alas, no river dolphins and no anacondas. I really wanted to see an anaconda-- although I hear they grow bigger in Venezuela.

I: And what did the company say about their poor performance?

Me: They promised me a refund as soon as my flight leaves. No, but seriously, I might get a refund here in a few hours. But I´m not holding my breath.